25 Years of TMNT... Makes Me Sad - Day 3

Today, we'll talk about one of the things the TMNT are most well known for - action figures. Not including the brief period of inactivity in the late 90's-early 2000's, TMNT action figures have been a mainstay of toy isles for twenty years. Toys have flown off shelves in certain years in record amounts, and the toys have helped make both Playmates and TMNT what they are today.

1988 saw the release of the first wave of figures - ten of 'em.



Years roll by, and after a couple of reboots, we get to where we are today. So what does the 25th anniversary have in store for us?



Oh yay. Every known hip-hop stereotype crammed onto a single figure. I can almost hear Sam Riegel screaming "GET BACK MOTHERF***ER, YOU DON'T KNOW ME LIKE THAT!" TMNT figures have always had zany, stupid variants like Crazy Clownin' Mike, Punk Don, and Bodacious Biker Leo. The only difference is that these figures were completely different sculpts from the originals. Donny D here? He's just the standard 2007 Movie Don with stuff glued to him and his teeth painted gold. Ugh. Just how much lazier can you get?



Pretty damn lazy, apparently. While Playmates has long made figures that weren't quite accurate to the shows, they've never been this... vomit inducing. You'd think that for the 25th anniversary, Playmates would actually attempt to get their figures that are actually in the show, sort of close to their cartoon appearances. And again, it's just a standard figure with crap glued to him. This looks like something an amateur customizer would come up with! What's the worst part, is these are supposed to represent Back to the Sewer. Playmates is releasing Cyber versions of all four Turtles, Shredder, Foot Ninja, and a build-a-figure Splinter - none of which have correct colours (Splinter's fur is freaking BLUE for Christ's sake!)... and all of which are reportedly "coming soon", despite the fact that the show is over in two weeks!

Toy companies have an unhealthy obsession with variants of the main character, and no more so than Playmates. The worst thing is, TMNT has four main characters, so when a wave of figures is ushered out, there's always the four Turtles and a bad guy or two - if that! The Alien Hunters figures were supposed to release with four villains, but in the US, only two of them were. The other two were released only in the UK, despite all four of them being openly advertised in all markets. The Sub-Sewer came and went last year (or, rather, came and went... directly to the clearance aisle), and the two villains planned - which actually made appearances in Back to the Sewer - never showed up.

Two years ago, Playmates jumped on the chibi-ish figure bandwagon and brought out a new line of Mini-Mutants (not to be confused with the Mighty Max-esque Mini-Mutants from the 90's). They did rather well... sadly, though, the market has been soiled with lame Turtles variants and the same villains over and over. Wave 1's villains consisted of Hun, Rat King, Triceraton, and Foot Tech Ninja. Last year's Extreme Sports wave consisted of Baxter Stockman, Jammerhead, Elite Foot, and Multi-Arm Shredder. Earlier this year, the Mini-Mutant villains consisted of Hun, Foot Tech Ninja, Elite Foot, and Shredder (which was a pack-in with a Mini-Mutants playset). What does the upcoming "SWAT" Mini-Mutant Turtles come with? Rat King, Hun, Foot Tech Ninja, and Shredder. See a pattern here? Not only that, there have been no allies in Mini-Mutants. In fact...

There have been no new ally figures OR female figures for almost two years. And besides the 25th anniversary re-releases (which I will get to in a minute), the only allies being released in the foreseeable future are - I am not making this up - two Splinter figures. And NO new female figures. The series has always been mostly about the Turtles vs. baddies, but their allies - Casey Jones, April O'Neil, Leatherhead, Miyamoto Usagi - have all been very well known as well. Sometimes it takes more than just four shellbacks to beat down wave after wave of Foot Ninja, street punks, aliens, evil mutants, and monsters. It's just sickening that Playmates has ignored the Turtles' friends for so long, and seemingly continue to do so.

Now let's get to one of the sort-of cool releases for the 25th anniversary. Playmates has selected thirteen figures from the original line - including all of the original "Ten back" figures, and is steadily releasing them in waves. This is perfect for the newer fan that isn't eBay savvy, or collectors that don't care what release of a figure they get, and don't want to pay out the butt for carded versions of some of these characters. I also think it would be neat to see the likes of Bebop and Rocksteady on shelves again (they've already released, but as of this writing, I haven't personally seen any of the 2009 releases).

In theory, this is a cool idea. However, there's a few things that I do have to gripe about. One of which, is the chosen box art. I like the idea of the 25th anniversary logo in the corner, and the big ol' character information sticker on front of the bubble, but that's about it. The card art looks like it was haphazardly patched together by a tenth-grader learning PhotoShop, and it's WAY too crowded. Ideally, if they were going to use the same art as was used initially, they should have at least cut the duties in half - one card art for the good guys, and one for the bad. Better yet, they should have had the original artist, if possible, draw ALL NEW card art in the same style. I miss the days when every card was unique. I also lament the absence of the famous Accessory and Portrait sections on the card's back. These were staples of the original line back in the day.

These suckers are selling like hotcakes all over the place, though, and hopefully not just through internet scalpers (who sell them at 2-3 times their MSRP). It is my hope that this persuades Playmates into re-releasing more figures from the old line, or, better yet, NEW figures based on the old line. They're already sort of doing that with the Old Toon DVD Season 7, but they're just downscaled versions of the original four Turtles. It's something, though....

The other line that is potentially exciting, is their Mirage Comics line. While not as awesome as NECA's line, they look to break Playmates' trappings of the other full-scaled figures we've seen over the past couple of years.

The Turtles themselves appear to be based on the later comics, while Shredder and the Foot are more in line with their original appearances - or at least, they would be, if the Foot were the right colours, and Shredder's helmet didn't look so retarded. Seriously, Playmates, if you're going to Shredder and Oroku Saki styles for your figures - USE ALTERNATE HEADS! Splinter looks neat, but I couldn't tell you which comic style he takes after. He looks more like Old Toon Splinter, if anything. If Playmates keeps going, this might be a worthwhile continuation for the line for them. As a matter of fact, Playmates, why don't you just do a TMNT universe line, where you release new figures from every universe? You'll literally have people tripping over themselves to buy them; I guarantee it 100%!

Now let's move onto NECA's offerings. NECA released the original four Turtles that mirrored their appearances in the first TMNT comic, and lit the world on fire. Retailers sold out quickly and for a while, you couldn't even find them without sacrificing your genitalia. Publications - both online and in print - were heralding this line as a runner for new toy line of the year. The design was near flawless, and for once, we had Turtles with articulation that fit a ninja.

Then something happened... after showing a preview of their April O'Neil figure at New York Comic Con 2008 and ones of Shredder, Foot Ninja, and Elite Foot at San Diego Comic Con 2008... NECA unfortunately maintained a radio silence with the outside world regarding the figures... including with Mirage themselves. Fans... were... LIVID. For the longest time, it looked as if these amazing-looking figures were going to never be released. When Playmates' own Mirage-based figures were unveiled, blame was going around that since Playmates felt that Mirage went behind their backs to get the NECA figures made, Playmates responded with their own comic-based figures, and NECA, feeling bullied, refused to release any more figures.

Finally, this year, at ToyFair 2009, NECA brought the above figures again, and indicated that they almost certainly were coming out this year. Their official excuse on the delay? They needed support in the UK, since the previous wave hadn't sold well there. That's a pretty lame excuse, if you ask me. They even openly admitted that the TMNT aren't on the whole, as popular there as back here in The Colonies; in fact, I'm wholly convinced that's the reason Playmates' TMNT figures aren't heading to shelves in Europe this year. But still, that's the official word, and however crappy as it may be, we've got to unfortunately take it at face value and thank God that there's a 98% chance we'll get our hands on them. Let's hope that a third wave is released before I have grandchildren.

Now see, out of all of the TMNT merchandising, the toys are the ones I have closest kinship to. But with the advent of some really crappy figures and/or planning out there, it's hard to weed out the good stuff. I miss the simple days, when although there were dozens of dorky Turtle variants, there were also legions of mutants to collect. Hell, the old figures even had many cool variants for the Turtles' enemies and allies, which is something that has been in short supply following the 2003 revival.

If Playmates wants to keep at the TMNT game - which as I said before, is the major reason anybody even knows who they are - they've got to step up their game. Put some more articulation in those damn things. I'm no articulation Nazi, but for the love of Christ, they're NINJA! They should be able to move at least a bit more, be able to have many different posing options, and at least be able to stand easily without having to place their feet in a very specific position. Hell, there are some figures, like Agent Bishop, that make me sad with their very existence due to the fact that such nimble characters are permanently locked in one stiff position.

Second of all, model them after how they were represented in the media they come from. The consumer shouldn't be forced to take an X-Acto Knife, Dremel tool, nail file, and paints to their action figures just to make them look right. It's maddening! Customizing action figures should be a hobby, not a necessity!

If you're looking for another toy line to model how you pad the TMNT line's cast, Playmates, look no further than Hasbro's Star Wars line. Not only do they have many different interesting variants of their central characters, without resulting to something as flat-out retarded as DJ Obi-Wan or Birthday Clown Luke, but they make figures for practically every character from every form of media. Many different generic soldier variants exist, and even a guy who is in one scene of one film for 3/13ths of a second and is only visible from the shoulders up in the back of a crowd shot has a chance of becoming a figure! But important characters from the series' past such as Lord Dregg, Ultimate Drako, Jagwar, Master Khan, and scads more, have been left in the dust. And for Heaven's sakes, Hasbro's CEO was named CEO of the year for 2008 by MarketWatch, because of the following:

How much do you consider the opinions of hardcore fans of the franchise when making decisions for the films?
GOLDNER: The hardcore fans are an integral part of the thought process. ...

Was there any particular fan feedback on the first "Transformers" that you took into account for the sequel?
GOLDNER: ... So what we did is, we focused in on some of those things that the fans told us from a very early stage that they wanted to see in the next movie...

But you guys are paying attention.
GOLDNER: Constantly. And I think what's great about our creative teams, our filmmaking teams is, they get it. They absolutely understand how to strike that balance, and they want to strike that balance and understand the core fan feedback. Because at the very heart, that's the thread that will hold the franchise together forever, if you'll honor that. And then of course, they also are great filmmakers and in their own right they also have the ability to reinvent the brand in a completely unexpected way.

That's right, they LISTEN to their fans. They don't set some braindead scab on customer service e-mail duty with robotic responses that don't equate to fans' concerns. They do this thing that more businesses should do, call "giving a crap". I'm not making Hasbro to be the second coming of Jesus in toy company form, especially since I don't even buy any of their product (other than Star Wars figures for my pops as gifts), but it seems they've got their act together! Don't listen to some tired old man's opinion of how a toy will sell because it's got "play value" - which includes attaching a weapon to a musical instrument. Listen to the people that are actually buying your product!


Another point I'd like to make, and this one to both Playmates and NECA, is that you need to start making Army Builder packs. Many of us like collecting the Foot Soldiers, Utroms, Triceratons, Turtlebots, and so forth en masse to indicate armies of these generic warriors. It can be an utter pain in the ass to track down enough of these to build an army with. Throw three in a window box with one accessory a piece, charge 2.5 times what you would for a standard figure, and you're golden!

That's enough ranting for one day... I've got work to finish up. I'll be back tomorrow with... something... cartoons, maybe. Peace with a feast in the Middle East, my brothas and sistas!

Sources:
Pictures: TMNT Official Website, Big Bad Toy Store, Toy News International, myself.
Hasbro CEO Excerpt: Roseangelo/Toyfare